No title — no energy to think one up
I don’t write because I’m feeling so negative that I don’t even want to lay it on you guys. I can barely stand myself these days. Negativity rules and drags me down ever deeper.
Nothing has changed on our end. We did our 4th IVF (2nd attempt as you’ll remember we were canceled for lack of response on our first try). We had less than stellar results. 7 eggs, 5 of which were mature, only 3 of which fertilized. That is a huge drop in our fert rate from prior IVFs. On day three all 3 embryos were considered delayed and Dr.10YO suggested we let them keep growing in culture and go for a 6-day blast transfer. On day 6 we got the call that there would be no transfer. 2 of the embryos arrested on day 3 or 4 and the one remaining embryo, although it had made it to blast, was already degenerating. Therefore, IVF #4 down the tubes with ZERO possibility of a positive outcome. That, my dear friends, nearly took me to the ground.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore except struggling all the time. It is a silent struggle mostly happening on the inside of my head and in the tracks of tears down my face. It is horrible and I know you know it well. I’m so sorry–so sorry for us all.
